When things are short-lived

I've had a little more private correspondence with Maxwell Knight, where I was blunt and asked a couple of serious questions flat out.
Even though I was given some answers sourrounded in the usual vagueries, there were other parts of what he said to me that actually made a high degree of sense.

Taking all of this into consideration, I spent some time pondering, and have arrived at a decision.

For the time being, I am going to declare this blog closed.
I will no longer be making any public records of my dealings with Neurocam (until there is a point in time when it becomes necessary).
I know this may disappoint some of you, but others will perhaps be appeased.

If you have a geninuine interest in any further explanation (although I cannot promise much more detail), you might contact me about it.

So that's that. It has been fun while the novelty lasted.
Keep in mind that I am not completely dropping off the radar.

I'll still be lurking under darkness' cover.

Being introspective is dangerous.

(The following statements are vague because I shouldn't give full details)

I'm one of those people who thinks...a lot.
I think about so many things that I people will never even get to hear.
When it's just you and yourself it can get very scary. Because there's no external perspective imposed on your thoughts. There is only the one way you think about it, and the severe extreme opposite that surfaces to counteract it: doubt.
Doubting is very very bad...but unfortunately there's no way to control it.
And once you start doubting you just keep doubting more and more and more, until you've dug yourself into so deep into a hole that it is impossible to get out.

I had a breakdown tonight. A really awful one.
And if things hadn't gone well for me, I would be back in the same state of being that I was about three or so years ago.

I hate the fact that I'm writing this, partly because it's cliché blog material.
But perhaps it has a place here, since it's food for thought--and that's what I originally made this for (besides having a nice orderly record of everything that happens).

Anyway...I'll shut up about all this now.

I've been reading The Magus, and I like it so far (within the first 20 pages it was quite obvious why Neurocam has an interest in it).

It's a very unique book, and it's written in such a style that I'm really not quite used to yet, but that's part of why I like it.

I haven't gotten any more correspondence from Maxwell Knight, Charles Hastings, or Bridget Fischer regarding assignments and the like--beyond a nice little "thank-you" from Mr. Knight after I sent him some more specific (but general) information about where I am in LA.

So that's all that comes to mind right now. I'm really tired, and still have a lot of work to get done.

We know where you live

So remember how I said I was e-mailing our buddy Maxwell Knight? Yeah. I sent him something, and he replied a while ago. And even though his response provided some assurance, two concerns at opposite ends of the spectrum have now surfaced.

Dear Mr. Knight,

Since your are head of the Human Resources and Security Devision, I have no doubt that you possess knowledge of all the current Neurocam operatives. With that in mind, and recognizing the fact that I was accepted as an official Neurocam operative as of today, I have a couple of questions for you:

1) Is there any more detailed information you require about the area I live in and how it influences mission proximity and my ability to get to certain locations? Los Angeles is a very large city, and it would be quite problematic for me to drive all the way out to someplace such as Woodland Hills or any other remote location that the city of "Los Angeles" encompasses.

2) Would it also be beneficial if you had some other form of contact with me as an operative besides electronic mail which can be utilized in more demanding situations? I have heard from some of the other operatives that they were contacted by cellular telephone for further information during assignments and such.

I hope your response will provide some more insight into these matters.

Best Regards,

-Midnight

To which he replied:

Dear Operative Midnight,

Welcome to the Neurocam team!

To address your queries - Your offer to provide additional location data
in appreciated. Although there is no need to be completely specific, any
additional data you are able to provide will be noted in your file and
taken into consideration during the planning of assignments.

In addition, at present we do not require you to provide Neurocam with
additional contact details. In the event that the procurement of such
details is deemed necessary, you will be informed of that fact via e-mail.

Regards,

Maxwell Knight
Head, Human Resources Security Division
Neurocam International
maxwell.knight@neurocam.com


Back to those concerns of mine:
1) Neurocam is so on top of things that they don't even need to find out where their operatives are, because they already know. Either that, or their roots are so extensive that it doesn't matter where you're situated. Scary thought.
-or-
2) Neurocam is willing to take the gamble of not having any clue where their operatives are located, beyond the general area of an immensely large city like New York or Los Angeles.

Right now, I'm kind of hoping that it's the first one.

*ring* "Operator." *silence* "I'm in...."

The 'cam seems to be on top of things (and at very unusual hours of the night, I might add) because sitting in my inbox bearing a timestamp of 3:56am is the e-mail from Bridget Fischer informing me that I'm now officially part of the Neurocam crew.

...And I'm quite enthralled, because I think I would have had a conniption if they rejected that monstrosity of a perception assignment I sent in--which took me almost as long to type up as it took to actualy do.

I'm also going to be composing something to our friend Maxwell Knight to ask a couple questions about us non-local operatives, on account of the lack of information pertaining to the subject. (More speculation to come on that later)

So I typed up some things...

and they wound up being a lot longer than I thought.

I would really like to post the entirety of my perception assignment, but somehow it amounted to roughly seven complete pages of text. (Charles Hastings is going to have fun reading this one)
If that isn't detailed, then I sure don't know what is.

Unfortunately, I do not know of a way to mimic LiveJournal's (Oops, I said the L-word. Bad me) system of "cutting" parts of blog entries, so for the moment I have posted it on a website I will be using for the display of lengthy Neurocam-related documents.